Church

We are going to church at Newman Chapel, an expat church that meets in the school multi purpose room. It is run like many churches in the states with a few exceptions. The  preachers are all volunteers that rotate and preach either one sunday, or do a mini series, and the worship leaders are volunteers that rotate Sundays as well. It is small enough that there is a brief time for community announcements at the beginning of service, and visitors or new people are introduced. There is also a time or people to share prayer requests and someone will pray for them right away. It has the feel of a big family meeting, the way I imagine the community of the early church. 

This past Sunday, we were singing songs about sacrifice and depending on God, and it hit me. We were living among people that were living out the words of the song. They were not just singing words on a screen, or singing in hopes it would be true, their lives actually reflected God’s calling. Worship was unadulterated. 

I am excited to live among these people for a few years. Both to encourage them and support their work, but also to learn from them the meaning of living our live for the Lord. 

Embrace the Blue

I walked into our apartment and held back tears. After a long week of travel, I was walking into what was to be our home for the next two years. The apartment itself is a basement apartment that we were told was being used for storage. It has two nice size rooms, a bathroom, and a small kitchen, but the fact that it is in a basement makes it rather gloomy. Also the windows look out onto jungle trees, which are beautiful but they do not help with the light. The furniture and appliances were scarce, but the thing that was staring me in the face as I walked in was a bright blue pleather couch with a gold and black trim. A Velvet Elvis poster would have completed my dismay. 

I knew that life in a third would country would be different. I knew there would be a lot of things I would have to get use to or learn how to “deal” with, but sitting on this blue whale taking up space in the corner of our apartment I can only think of it as God’s colorful way of teaching and stretching me. 

I am learning that God is not trying to merely teach me contentment, but to change my value system. I need to remember that my home is not here in Papua, nor even in Spokane, but in Heaven. I need to hold loosely the things of this world and hold tightly to the treasures we have in Heaven. 

Until then, I won’t let the cobalt creature in the corner defeat me. It is there as a reminder God has my needs here on earth covered, and is preparing a grand home for me in Heaven. Now don’t get me wrong. My relationship with the couch is cordial at best, but in my attempt to make our apartment a little more homey, I have bought things that come in blue. Blue storage tubs for the shelves, blue sheets, blue towels. Our mantra: “embrace the blue.”

Aslan is on the Move

We missed the largest snow of the year thus far by one day. It is hard to imagine the tree boughs heavy with snow and the calming effect it has on the busyness of life, when our sweaty clothes are sticking to us, and the bugs create a constant hum. Snow seems so distant, so foreign, a different world. Perhaps it is the magic of snow that makes me think of Narnia, but I can’t help but think of how there are threads of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe running through our own story. 

Recall the part where Mr. Beaver is telling the children about Aslan and it stirs in them new and strong feelings. 

“They say Aslan is on the move - perhaps has already landed.”

And now a very curious thing happened. None of the children knew who Aslan was any more than you do; but the moment the Beaver had spoken these words everyone felt quite different. Perhaps it has sometimes happened to you in a dream that someone says something which you don't understand but in the dream it feels as if it had some enormous meaning - either a terrifying one which turns the whole dream into a nightmare or else a lovely meaning too lovely to put into words, which makes the dream so beautiful that you remember it all your life and are always wishing you could get into that dream again. It was like that now. At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in its inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe – Chapter 7

Again Mr. Beaver is taking the children to see Aslan and through a turn of events they run into Father Christmas. The arrival of Father Christmas brings excitement to all Narnians, as it means that Aslan has come back and the power of the White Witch is loosening. 

“I've come at last,” said he. “She has kept me out for a long time, but I have got in at last. Aslan is on the move. The Witch's magic is weakening.” -Father Christmas

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe – Chapter 10

In very much the same way, we have seen the Lord working in the things around us. One thing after another seemed to be nudging, no shoving, us in the direction of us moving to Papua in January. We were able to apply for visas early, we raised 90% of our funds in a few weeks, and all the other little things that were signs we were supposed to leave now. We felt a sense of peace amidst the pain of leaving, and a spark of courage in the darkness of fear. We can only attribute these things to God moving in our lives. For us the snow, was melting, Christmas had come, Aslan was on the move. 

Support Letter

Dear Family and Friends,

If, at this time two years ago someone would have told us where we would be in 2012 and how God would reveal Himself to us, we would have scarcely believed it. Ours is a story of God recapturing our hearts with relentless and reckless love. It is far too long to recount here, and too wonderful to edit. We love telling it, so if you are interested in hearing it, ask us sometime. The short of it is this: we have fallen in love with Jesus, and He is changing our hearts. He made us uncomfortable in our comfort, discontent in our ease, and terribly aware of our lack of sacrifice. We realized that our lives did not reflect the gravity of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, and that this sacrifice ought to compel us to action – action driven not only by obedience, but by the abundant joy found in resting in God’s Will. To borrow Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s words, “Once a man has experienced the mercy of God in his life he will henceforth aspire only to serve”. We are utterly and irrevocably convinced that a life not devoted to Christ is not worth living; and it is our joyful burden to use our passions, our talents, and our lives to pursue this great God, and to bring as many along with us on this journey as we can.

For us, this desire to serve our Lord has specifically led us to pursue overseas missions. We are planning to move to Indonesia in partnership with Wycliffe Associates (WA), to serve at Hillcrest International School. This is a school for kids of missionaries. Hillcrest provides the educational needs of the many families who are serving in Indonesia as Bible translators, church planters, and aviation missionaries. Without this school, many of these families would not be able to continue their ministries. In fact, worldwide, one of the primary reasons missionaries leave the mission field is lack of sufficient education for their children. We have this opportunity to meet this need. By providing schooling and healthcare for these families, we can support the Gospel reaching the lost. If we go, I will be working in their health clinic providing medical care to students, faculty and families. Because of my medical background, they have also asked me to teach Health & Nutrition and Anatomy & Physiology in the high school. With the arrival of our daughter, Elsie, Michelle wants to focus her energy on being a wife and new mom, but also plans to fill in as needs arise in the clinic as well as the classroom. Teaching and discipling have been a growing passion of ours. This excitement leads to the second reason we want to go: building relationships with these students. Missionary kids are an often forgotten culture, stuck in between two worlds. Some of these kids are separated from their families for months at a time when they are at school as their parents are serving in distant jungles and far-flung islands. Again, there is opportunity here; opportunity to love and invest in these kids. Coming from a “ministry family” myself, I know there can be unfair expectations, whether real or perceived, that these kids feel obligated to live up to. Our hearts have grown soft for these kids; we desire to see them know Jesus for themselves and to serve Him out of their own desires. Working in the high school ministry at our church has solidified our love for this age group. We have come to love watching kids make their faith their own, as well as deepen their understanding of God.     

This job, however, is not a paid position. WA has determined our cost of living to be about $2966/month, with a one-time expense of $2700 plus travel. We would like to be down there by August 2012, for the new school year, but we will be unable to go until we have reached our support goal. We are asking you to be partners in ministry with us – committing your time, prayers and finances to join what God is doing in our world. Any involvement is valuable and appreciated. Prayer is the most important thing that we covet of you. These two years will be impossible and unfruitful for us if God’s sovereignty is not depended upon daily. Would you please consider committing to pray for us as we prepare to leave, and once we are over there? If you are feeling led to be involved in this ministry financially, we have a ministry account with WA and there is a form included with instructions on how to give. It will be our privilege to keep you informed and included in how God is at work in Indonesia and our own lives. We are excited to embark on the adventure God has set before us and witness the furtherance of His Kingdom.
 

- Ben and Michelle Ferderer

 “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:20-21)

Elsie

Elsie Kendra Ferderer was born March 14, 2012 at 1:49 pm.

She was 8 pounds, 10 ounces, 22 inches long.

Life as we knew it had changed.

I am not sure what I expected when Elsie came into this world. I knew it would be a long process and we would come out on the other side with a baby, but I didn't expect to look back on the whole process with fondness. Even though I was in labor for 20 hours and in much pain for most of it, the feeling of holding my child in my arms for the first time fills me with indescribable joy. Even now, nearly three weeks and many hurdles later, I would do it all over again.

I know that these statements are terribly cliche, as if I am reciting the "Mother's Mantra," but what I have said has been heard before because it is truth. Any mother knows: labor is totally worth it!

Prologue: Concerning Ferderers

We have never blogged before. We're not even sure if people read blogs, but if you do - thanks for tuning in. We decided to start this as a way to keep our friends and family informed on the things that happen in the comings and goings of our life. Whether these things are big events or little ponderings, we hope our posts give a glimpse into our small part of God's grand story. We also hope our readers will share in the Joy that accompanies our lives as we journey through the many adventures that God puts in our paths.  

You might have learned about this blog from a letter you recieved asking for support for our relocation to Indonesia, others might have heard about it through word of mouth or other social networks. Whatever the case may be, you have all tuned into a very life changing year for us. We are currently a family of three living in Spokane in the support raising process of going to Indonesia. We mentioned in our support letter that the tale of how we arrived to our current situation is long and very dear to us, and for the sake of brevity we did not tell our story there. We believe it is a story that "makes much of God" (to borrow John Piper's phrase), and any story that shows His glory should not be too abridged. Now, sitting by the fire on an exceptionally cold day in April, we have the time and space to recount it.

The picture above was taken in February 2010; in my mind this is where it began for us. When considering the sovereignty of God in our lives, it's impossible to pick an actual "start date" of when our current adventure began. Every person in our lives, every experience, and every failure redeemed, God has used to bring us where we are. But 2010 was when God began to let us in on what He is doing in our lives. At that time, as most of you probably know, Michelle and I lived in Everett, WA; we worked three nights a week, and had not a care in the world. Kids were on the hazy horizon. Like most people, we found ourselves trying to map out our future. We spent most of 2010 pursuing medical missions, but God kept closing door after door. But God's ways and timing are perfect, and He had things to teach us first.

Looking back, maybe we should have seen it coming. God had been changing our hearts. He surrounded us with people who inspired and challenged us, a church that was saturated with the Gospel, books that rattled our worldview, and of course, the Holy Spirit - always teaching, always guiding. At times the heat from His refining furnace was overwhelming, but it was also revitalizing.   He had made us uncomfortable with our comfort, discontent in our ease, and terribly aware of our lack of sacrifice. We were compelled to take action: to live out our faith in a tangible way. This is when we started exploring medical mission oppotunities. In the early spring of 2010, we stumbled across a job posting on the Wycliffe Bible Translators website, requesting an RN to come to a small school in Indonesia to be the school nurse and to teach several classes. At that time we were in the middle of pursuing two other international ministry opportunities, and decided not to pursue this one. However, something about that one sentence job description intrigued and engaged a very deep part of our hearts. It was not until nine months later, after our other opportunities had fallen through and we had all but abandoned the idea of medical missions that this came back to us. But we now had our hearts set on Spokane. Frustrated and perhaps annoyed with God, we were planning to settle down near family, buy a house, see the sun, and not work weekends - real American Dream type stuff. The Holy Spirit, however, was nudging us and making us uncomfortable. We decided to apply for the position, but it was a pitiful and half-hearted attempt at obedience. We told God that if this is what we ought to do, He had to make it happen - all of it. Not surprisingly, He is now making it happen.

On February 3, 2011 we had planned on calling our Wycliffe representative to tell her we were withdrawing our application - but overslept and missed their business hours (we worked nights). That night we went to the Macaroni Grill for dinner with our minds set on Spokane. When we walked out, we were somehow discussing moving to Indonesia! Over the course of the evening, we discussed what we wanted our lives to be about and concluded on two things. First, we are bent toward teaching and  dicipleship and excited about engaging the hearts of young people. And second, that serving God results in our greatest joy. During a single meal, God had flipped our hearts and changed even the continent we wanted to live on.

The next five months were a whirlwind as God pushed and stretched us to depend on Him. He captured our hearts with His relentless and reckless love, displayed in Jesus. We realized that our lives did not reflect the gravity of Christ's sacrifice on the cross, and that this sacrifice ought to compel us to action - action driven not only by obedience, but by the abundant joy found in resting in God's Will. One of the influential contributions to our life during this time was Dietrich Bonhoeffer's book, The Cost of Discipleship. In the first chapter he writes:

“Costly grace is the gospel... Such grace is costly because it calls us to follow, and it is grace because it calls us to follow Jesus Christ. It is costly because it costs a man his life, and it is grace because it gives a man the only true life... Above all, it is costly because it cost God the life of his Son, and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us. Above all, it is grace because God did not reckon his Son too dear a price to pay for our life, but delivered him up for us. Costly grace is the Incarnation of God.”

We are utterly and irrevocably convinced that a life not devoted to Christ is not worth living; and it is our joyful burden to use our passions, our talents, and our lives to pursue this great God, and to bring as many along with us as we can. For us, at this point in time, it means following God's call across the Pacific.


Thus, we find ourselves in our current situation. We have been accepted into the position mentioned above and are now raising funds to go over as early as August. With our new daughter Elsie in tow, the rest of the year is in God's hands - an adventurous, yet very safe, place to be.

"O the deep, deep love of Jesus!

Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!

Rolling as a mighty ocean

In its fullness over me!

Underneath me, all around me,

Is the current of Your love

Leading onward, leading homeward

To Your glorious rest above!"